How to write your own HEA

Any time is a great time to start putting your storytelling skills to work in your personal life! Today we’re digging deep and exploring who we are as creatives.

Why? Because the psychology of good storytelling is simple:

Figure out what your protagonist needs, then zero in on what’s stopping them from achieving their goal. Whether the theory of Goals, Motivations, and Conflicts is tired old hat or something totally new to you, I’ll bet you’ve never looked at GMCs like this before. (It was an epiphany for me, too!)

If you’re feeling stuck in life, you already have the basic skills to thaw that frozen energy and ignite your forward momentum.

Let’s turn those GMCs on ourselves and get to work writing our own Happily Ever Afters.

Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees. We get too caught up in the small day-to-day minutiae of living life that we lose sight of the bigger picture. We forget why we’re doing something. And sometimes we focus on the reasons why we can’t move forward rather than thinking about what alternate paths we could take.

We often forget our why.

Set a personal Goal (a legit one)

If you’re feeling listless, the first question to ask yourself is whether you have a goal. Is it concise and actionable? Is it achievable within a defined time frame? Have you outlined your success criteria? Without a clear goal in at least one aspect of your life, you can’t even begin to move forward.

Even if your goal is to sit quietly for a while and decompress, acknowledge that you need this down time and immerse into it.

Without a clear, concise, actionable goal, we cannot grow.

Identify your personal Motivation

If you’re already working toward a strong goal, but you’re feeling unmotivated to keep pushing forward, ask yourself why this specific goal is important to you. Your why is your motivation, and looking more closely at our motivations can help us more concisely define our goals.

Is the goal you're chasing the right one? Do you need to adjust your success criteria? Do you need to set a new, more relevant goal? Or do you need to re-center your mind on your why?

Your why is your motivation, and it will help you set your goals.

Consider your Conflicts

Finally, if there’s a conflict in your life that you cannot see past and have no way to work around, and it is completely derailing you—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, professionally—consider whether that mountain is worth the sacrifice to climb or whether it’s a sign that you might need to consider other directions. Our paths in life are determined by the battles we choose, so be sure you’re spending your energy in ways that shape you into the person you want to become.

Who we are is determined by the battles we choose to fight, the mountains we choose to climb.

How would you write your story?

Just like the characters in our stories, sometimes what we want is not necessarily what we need, and our Goals and Motivations can change as we react to Conflicts and grow as human beings.

There can be no highs without lows, so embrace the whole journey and respect where you are right now. But always be thinking, what is my journey?

Just like in the journeys our characters take, our own personal GMCs can change. And sometimes that is healthy.

Which email in this Belief Mindset series made you stop and think?

What new goals or motivations did you uncover?